Sunday, 6 October 2013

It's been almost 7 MONTHS!!

What a year.

Remember int he early 90's the Queen had an 'Annus Horriblis'?

That's me this year.

It has been a year very much of ups and downs. It's a toss up on whether the ups or the downs win.

Those of you who are connected with me on Facebook will know much of what's happened. Those who don't, grab a cuppa, pull up a chair and read on.

Feb '13. As seen in my previous postings my dear Mother died.She had lung disease amongst other problems and .passed away aged 64. I was devastated. We knew Mum had been unwell for some years but that never prepares you for the loss. I was bereft for a while. But I had to soldier on for my children and family.

The week after Mum  my best friend called me and told me that her husband had passed suddenly too. Aged just 51. I knew him fairly well and it only added to the grief I already felt.

In April my marriage finally after 16 years went to the wall. It had been bumbling along for some time and had just come to the point where it was utterly pointless to carry on and someone had to say it. It had to be me. So a couple of months later he moved out. I won't say too much about this because solicitors are involved but I was decent to him for many years and had it thrown back at me. He has not spoken to his children for a long time or contacted them to see them. But anyway.

In May I had a message from my Aunt in Cambridge. A little background though first.

My Mother and father married 11 months after I was born in 1975. In 1989 they separated. I kept in touch with my Dad but when I was 17 I moved away from home some 200 odd miles away in an attempt to make something of my life and gain some valuable life experience. This was in 1992. I was still in touch with my Dad at this time and wrote letters to him. After a few months these letters started to get returned so I thought that he had no space for me in his life any more, accepted that and moved on.

A couple of years ago I had a message filter through from a cousin to say that he was terminally ill with Cancer and I messaged my Aunt to say that if anything happened, let me know. I understood if he had no place for me, but let me know. I heard nothing.

In May I had a message from her. It basically said that her son was helping to take care of my Dad and he had little time left. He had expressed a wish to see  me and of course she could help because she knew where I was. It turns out that after I had moved back to my home town in 1999 I was living just a couple of miles away. There was never any question that I would not see him. I went to see him a few days later and I was shocked at what I found.

Cancer had ravaged my Dad. He was a shadow of the man I knew from my childhood. He was bedridden, he could not walk, he was incontinent, he seemed a small man in the bed when I got there. He knew though, fully, who I was and the first thing he did was break down in tears. I told him that there was  no need or time for him to regret the past and we should concentrate on the time we had left now we had found one another again.

I had 6 weeks with him before Cancer robbed us.

I buried my Dad less than 6 months after my Mum. It was doubly cruel as I was just getting to know him again.

There was a good side though. It was naturally hard to go and see Dad like that, but I discovered I have family I never knew about. I have a half sister, Charlotte, at the time she was 19 and had been looking for me for 10 years. She, in turn, has 2 children so I also have a lovely niece and nephew too.

So 3 deaths and the death of a marriage.

Where's the good stuff I hear you say...

Well. Every cloud definitely has a silver lining. I have a rock in my life.

I had known Andy for some time. That in my opinion was so important. He had been married himself and that had broken down around the time of my Mother's death. We turned from best friends to the next level back in April. We have been together for 6 months now and I can honestly say he is the best thing to happen to me and the kids.

There we are.

He makes me so happy.

So that was the first half of the year.

Going back to my soon to be ex husband (stbexh) he left in early July. He left me financially in a hole and I have had to go out and get a job. I got work after 12 years of being a homemaker. I interviewed for 2 jobs in 2 days and was offered both on the spot. I now work in a care home looking after the elderly. It's work I always did and work I will continue to do. I plan on taking some training and furthering  myself in care.

Andy and I took the kids on a wonderful holiday to Wales. We had the kind of  holiday where everything we did was either cheap or free. We climbed mountains and walked on beaches. We explored places off the beaten track and had a great time.

My girls are now in school full time - the 3 of them. The eldest started Comprehensive school, the middle one continues in junior school and the little one started full time in her infant school last month.

After stbexh left I am sure he thought I would not survive. I would not be able to cope and I would have to sell the house. Life is better than ever now. I would not say I am rich in money but I am certainly rich in my heart. My family and I have survived so much this year. We have laughed, and most certainly cried. But as a family, we are getting there.

Anyway this is a stitching blog so I guess I had better update that!

I haven't done much. A couple of commissioned pieces and I have another to do. I did some card swatches which I had to put on ebay too. I  needed to make ends meet and whatever I got was put into my  home and kids. I was offered a spot on the HAED blog but I got so busy I never got to accept the invite. My stitching time is rare now I am working although it's night work mainly I might get an hour to do some. I really need to get back to it.

Anyway. That's all for now. I will definitely have to update some stitching soon... I seem to remember saying that before.....

Til next time